總網頁瀏覽量

2010年6月1日 星期二

Another Strange Experience


Another strange thing happened yesterday. Shortly before lunch, I remember that I had to do something about the mortgage of my flat. Previously I had signed an authorization to Bank A to transfer a fixed amount not exceeding a certain figure to Bank B at the latter's request. I had a mortgage with Bank B. Recently I completed the last installment of my mortgage repayment to Bank B. So I went to Bank A to ask that my authorization to them to pay Bank B should cease. But I was told that they could not do that unless I could tell them the account number of my account at Bank B. But I did not have that account number with me at that time. So I had to go home to dig out that bank statement to give to Bank A. A peculiar thing happened on my way home.

 

When I was nearly home, I reached a flight of steps going down to another street much further down the street where I am living. I heard someone shouting behind my back.  It was a female voice. I turned my head and took a brief glance in the direction of the voice. I saw a lady in her late 20's  She was dressed in a greyish coloured short-sleeved T shirt and some three-quarter length trousers of matching colour. On her feet, I saw a pair of thong-like shoes. She had an oval face, high bulging but roundish forehead, small intelligent looking eyes, straight thin nose, thin lips and sharp chin. She got straight medium length black hair combed backwards and tied at the back into an extremely short pony tail. Quite pretty actually. She appeared to be scolding someone in a fierce voice, in English . So I turned to the direction she was then facing. But I could not see any one. The staircase was practically empty. In the meantime, she kept on shouting and complaining about the  "invisible" object of her fury.  I was very surprised that she should be shouting in such a high pitched voice with so much venom in her voice at apparently nobody. So I looked again in the direction she was then facing at that "someone" a little way down that flight of steps. Still I could see no one. So I looked at her again to see if I could gather from her some other clues as to who it was she was scolding. At that point in time, she said: "You're too lazy. How can you do that. Not working at all. And robbing me of all my money! You PRC people!" in English.  When she discovered that I was looking at her, she eyed me with spite and challenged me in Chinese "What's wrong? Did I say anything wrong? Isn't what I am saying not true?" as if I had wrongly accused her of having done something she ought not to have done. I felt so sorry for her. How could she have so much hatred in her? I wanted to slow down my steps a bit so that the distance between her and me would be gradually reduced until it became a comfortable speaking distance when I would urge her to slow down, take a deep breath and stop being so angry  and then tell her that her anger will not help solve any problems and that its only effect would be to cause her to feel so tensed up and so unhappy and that there is no good reason why she should work herself up so much over something she can do little about and that it would be far wiser not to make herself so unhappy. I did not know why. I felt so sorry for her! Such a pity:  a nice looking educated girl and yet apparently mad.  I could not understand why she should be so angry as if her whole body was burning in fire! She acted as if her whole person had been consumed by an inveterate hatred. I thought to myself, it really looked as if her soul had been taken over by a monster . I felt that she was filled completely by something which the Buddhist would call "bad karma". However, the moment that thought flashed through my mind, I felt a kind of energy appeared to be passing from her through my entire body.  At that point in time, she stared at me angrily and said, "What's there to look at ! Did I say something wrong?" The energy became stronger. I felt that there were goose pimples all through my body, from head, through my torso, to my feet. It felt very strange. I was thinking, "Could it be true that there really is something called "bad karma" and that you can actually feel it? And if so, is what I am now feeling the energy of bad or negative karma?"  But since the woman was looking at me with such hostility as if she were spitting fire with her eyes,  I decided that I had better not do what I originally set out to do viz.  to relieve a little the suffering which was so visibly affecting her because I am simply not professionally trained to be this kind of helper. Anyway, the goose pimples lasted for only about 5 or 6 seconds and then disappeared.

 

What happened set me thinking. Is what the Buddhists say true? Is there really something called "bad karma"?  And if one is sensitive enough, could "bad karma" actually be transmitted through some kind of wave form, perhaps a kind of quantum energy which somehow need not be in contact with its recipient and still have an effect on it? If there is such "bad karma", does it propagate itself through "wave forms" or other "action at a distance"?  Does one's skin become more sensitive as a result of having done "chi kung" or deep breathing exercises over a period of time so that if there were some kind of hitherto unknown form of energy, our sensitised skin could feel it ? Or was the reaction I felt in my body during those brief few seconds the result of the workings of my own subconscious mind? Did my goose pimples have a purely physical and psychological cause?

4 則留言:

  1. Don't worry! Perhaps the lady was just talking about an incident/robbery that had happened a while ago, and that the robbers had already left. Furthermore, you're still panicking after the prolonged suffering from the lady's high pitch voice attack... and hence, you thought that was "bad karma". Take it easy, and then take a deep breath... Now think about something "happy" or exciting and joyful moments from the past...
    [版主回覆06/01/2010 06:52:00]Definitely something wrong with this otherwise normal looking girl. There was so much anger in her that she literally shouted at the air, at nobody. The need to express that anger, that hatred was so overwhelming that it must be terrible to be in that state. You can imagine the pain. What caused me pain is that I felt there was so little I could do but to say a prayer for her. I felt so powerless! And it caused me to reflect on whether we understood everything about human life: about what moved us to action and how one person's action may affect another.  

    回覆刪除
  2. maybe she needs  help but be careful with the intention of avoiding danger.
    [版主回覆06/01/2010 07:04:00]She certainly needs help. Anyone who talks to the air as if there were someone there must be suffering from "delusion". I was not afraid of being "beaten". I decided not to intervene simply because I was afraid of provoking her further by my reminding her again of the incident precisely by talking about it because she was already in that emotionally highly charged state. Sometimes, the best way to act is to allow the thing to "blow over" upon its energy being spent with the passing of time because nobody can remain in a highly charged emotional state forever. But it did cause me to think about what could have caused it and how I had that strange sensation in my own body.

    回覆刪除
  3. I have seen many such incidences too. There is simply not much you can do but to put the matter in the hands of the professionals. Surely to help the helpless is laudable, but in handling psychotics, one must be very careful not to get hurt as you never know what could happen when the person is out of his/her sense. I don’t mean to sound nonchalant but one has to be prudent.
    The creepy feeling you experienced may be just a natural resonance between you and the woman when both were emotionally worked up --- she being mad and you in your eagerness to help while linking up the incidence with the supernatural.
    Two unhappy accounts of madness still live vividly in my mind (one was a lady living next door when I was a boy and the other was a young man who was my assistant when I was working with a certain company). I tried to help but I failed.
    The stories are too long to relate here. Maybe I will cover it in more details with a blog.
    [版主回覆06/01/2010 13:43:00]What made me so unhappy was my total inability to help! I felt such a
    useless fool who was stumped by a problem I did not really know how to
    handle despite my spontaneous desire that something or other must
    somehow be done. This is what prompted me to write the blog: to express
    my sense of powerlessness, the enormity and the massiveness of my
    ignorance to deal with something which as you say may be a daily occurence
    somewhere or other in some part or other of HK at some point of time or other. It's a very humbling
    experience. We thought we knew so much! It's as if suddenly the scales
    were removed from our eyes and we see ourselves as we are, poor pitiful
    subject of the forces of nature, of the unconscious, of our psyches! And I was also amazed at how it was possible that I had those strange sensations and whether they were not self-generated or originated from that embodiment of raging fire which so affected me and whether or not those were not one of the phenomenological sources of the Buddhist doctrine of karma. 

    回覆刪除
  4. The most precious thing is a peaceful mind.
    [版主回覆11/24/2012 16:42:08]Yes, it'd be nice to be able to be in that kind of state all the time but that'll probably take years of training in self-awareness by countless sessions of meditations coupled with deep-breathing exercises otherwise called "chi-kung".

    回覆刪除