I had wanted to write a blog on my trip to America. But I got stuck whilst trying to upload some photos into the blog I was writing and couldn't get it right. To take a break, I opened a book in front of me. I just randomly flipped it open. My eyes were met with the words' Coming Home" (回家). It was a poem by Gu Cheng 顧城 (1956-1993), a poem belonging to the school of contemporary Chinese poetry called 朦朧派 or "school of fuzziness". Was I psychic? Whether or not I was, I liked the poem. Here it is, together with my English translation.
回家 Returning Home
我看見你的手 I saw your hands
在陽光下遮住眼睛 Shielding your eyes under the sun
我看見你的頭髮 I saw your hair
被小帽遮住 Covered by a cap
我看見你手投下的影子 I saw the shadows cast by your hands
在笑 Laughing
你的小車子放在一邊 Your trolley set apart
杉 Sam
你不認識我了 You no longer know me
我離開你太久 I was away from you too long
我離開你 I left you
是因為害怕看你 Because I was afraid to look at you
我的愛 My love
像玻璃 Like glass
是因為害怕 That’s because I was afraid
在臺階上你把手伸給我 You would hold out your hand to me at the
steps
說：胖 And said, “Fatty
你要我帶你回家 You want me to take you home”
在你睡著的時候 When you were sleeping
我看見你的眼淚 I saw the tears in your eyes
你手裡握著的白色的花 The white flower you were holding in your
hands
我打過你 I hit you
你說是調皮的爹爹 You said that’s a naughty daddy
你說：胖喜歡我 You said, “ Fatty likes me”
你什麽都知道 You knew everything
杉 "Sam
你不知道我現在多想你 You don’t know how much I miss you
我們隔著大海 We are separated by an ocean
那海水擁抱著你的小島 The sea water held your tiny island
島上有樹外婆 The island has grandma trees
和你的玩具 And your toys
我多想擁抱你 How I long to hold you
在黑夜來臨的時候 When the dark night comes"
杉 "Sam
我要對你說一句話 I want to say a word to you
杉，我喜歡你 Sam, I’m fond of you
這句話是只說給你的 These words are only for you
沒有人聽見 No one hears them
愛你，杉 Love you, Sam
我要回家 I want to go home
你帶我回家 You take me home."
你那麽小 You were so small
就知道了 And you knew
我會回來 I would come back
看你 To see you
把你一點一點擧起來 To hold you up bit by bit
杉，你在陽光裡 Sam, you were in the sun,
我也在陽光裡 I was in the sun too.
I like the simplicity of the sentiments, those of an
absentee father for his son. In the poem, "Sam" is supposed to be the first
name of Gu's son and "Fatty" is supposed to be his own nickname. The poem takes the form of Gu's intimate conversation with the son he
missed. The sun will shine on both only when he lifts up his son! All the feelings were embodied in the words of the dialogue themselves: the pain of separation, the longing for reunion, the inevitable conflict of domestic discipline, the joy of physical contact ! It is obvious that the poet's feelings towards his own child is a bit convoluted. On the one hand, he loved his son but on the other hand, he could not bear to have his son take away his wife's love for him. That's why he placed his son under the care of a friend after a while.
Pity that he hacked his wife to death in New Zealand and then killed himself. What a tragic ending for a talent who could have shone much brighter in the poetic circle.
回覆刪除[版主回覆07/20/2011 21:11:00]Yes. Perhaps he was too sensitive, too impulsive and felt too directly and too deeply. I like his poetry very much. He wrote and behaved too much like an uncontrolled child!
Good morning, my dear old friend! ...Great poet...and thanks for the introduction! ..."Coming home anytime, anyhow...anyone there? Home sweet home, sweet dreams of homecoming, Anytime I'll be on my way home, Anyhow, I'll be there by her side in time... Anyone waiting for my return... There...and yet..."
回覆刪除Thanks for sharing. Not a bad poem!
回覆刪除[版主回覆03/31/2012 12:50:30]Yes, Gu is an excellent poet.