Saturday Fun (星期六笑話)

In these days of sprawling megatropolis where its huge population, instead of offering one more choices of soul mates, and for those not bothered about souls because they believe only in the body, sex mates, creates obstacles for getting to know anyone in any meaningful way. One hardly knows anyone apart from one's habitual circle of colleagues, friends and and relatives. Hence the arrival of the novel institution of "blind dates" through the internet. But like everything else, "blind dates" may come with its own risks and ... certain "solutions" which may bring a quiet and knowing smile upon our face on a Saturday. Here are some.

1.

After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.
Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

2.

Alex sets up his friend Bob to go on a blind date with a college friend.
Bob is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's ugly?" says Bob, "I'll be with her all night."
"Don't worry," Alex says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't, just shout “Aaaaaauuuggghhh!” and fake a heart attack."
That night Bob knocks at the girl's door.
When she comes out he is awe-struck at how hot and gorgeous she is.
He's about to speak when the girl suddenly grabs her heart, shouts “Aaaaaauuuuggghh!” and collapses with a heart attack.

3.

Shortly after a long night of passion, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, Tony replied, "That's me before the operation."

Have a fun weekend. There's sunlight everywhere !