Saturday Fun (週末笑一笑)

Artists are frequently seen by the "normal" people as "eccentric", people who dress slovenly or impeccably, have outlandish hairdos and either church mouse poor or filthy rich but whether one or the other, always as people surrounded by an unbelievable number of gorgeous looking girlfriends or  boyfriends to die for and therefore both objects of their ridicule and/or envy. Whether or not this is so, there are no lack of jokes on our "stereotypical" conceptions about their peculiar way of life and personalities, which they alternatively hate or profit from. Here are some:

1.

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy was your doctor..."

2.

An artist had been working on a nude portrait for a long time. Every day, he was up early and worked late - bringing perfection with every stroke of his paint brush. As each day passed, he gained a better understanding of the female body and was able to really make his paintings shine.

After a month, the artist had become very weary from this non-stop effort and decided to take it easy for the day. Since his model had already shown up, he suggested they merely have a glass of wine and talk - since normally he preferred to do his painting in silence.

They talked for a few hours, getting to know each other better. Then as they were sipping their claret, the artist heard a car arriving outside. He jumped up and said, "Oh no! It's my wife! Quick, take off your clothes!"


3.

A bumper sticker for artists: "My other car is a bike, too."


4.

After his wife divorced him, Joe asked his best friend, Bill, to fix him up with a blind date.
Bill obliged.
The next day Joe called up Bill and shouted at him angrily: "Bill, what kind of a guy do you think I am. That girl you fixed me up with was cross-eyed; she was almost bald; her nose was long, thin and crooked; she had hair growing on her face; she was flat chested; and her ankles were as thick as her thighs".
Bill answered: "Either you like Picasso, or you don't like Picasso."

5.

There was this world famous painter.
In the prime of her career, she started losing her eyesight.
 Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.
After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office.
Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall.
When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art: the doctor's office.
During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?"
To this, the eye doctor responded, "I said to myself 'Thank God I'm not a proctologist.'"

6.

Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau.
The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like.
On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.

It may be raining again. Surely hope that it doesn't get in the way of your enjoyment of your weekend fun .
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