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2015年8月15日 星期六

Saturday Fun (星期六樂趣)

The religion and churches are supposed to  be about matters of the greatest import.  But I don't think there is anything in the Ten Commandment  which says that they can't carry a funny side too.

 
1.

After his baby brother  was baptised in church, little Denis sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
But little Dennis wouldn't tell.
Finally, little Denis relented, 'That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys.'



2.

The vicar was standing at the door after the Sunday service, shaking hands with each of the worshippers as they were leaving.
He grabbed the hands of a staunch middle aged guy and pulled him aside, saying, 'You really need to join the army of the Lord.'
The guy replied, 'I'm already in the army of the Lord, Father.'
So the vicar enquired, 'Then how come I don't see you except at Christmas and at Easter?'
The guy whispered in his ears, 'I'm in the secret service.'


3.

There are 3 fundamental truths about religion:
   1. Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Son of God.
   2. Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the Vicar of Christ on earth
   3. Baptists don't recognise each other at the bar on Saturday nights.


4.

Martin arrived at Sunday school late.
His his teacher Sister Mary knew that Martin was usually very punctual so she asked him if anything was wrong.
Martin shook his head and said that he had been going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church.
Impressed, Sister Mary asked the lad if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing?
Martin replied, 'Yes he did. Dad said he didn't have enough bait for both of us.'

5.

Father O'Malley was driving down to his church when got stopped for speeding.
The highway patrol officer smelled alcohol on the priest's breath and then saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He said, 'Father, have you been drinking?'
'Only water', replied Father O'Malley.
The policeman asked, 'Then how come I can smell wine?'
The priest looked at the bottle and said, 'Good Lord! He's done it again.'

Have a nice weekend.